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What Did You Practice Today?
A friend who recently lost her job is having a hard time managing anxiety. I get it. I’ve been there. She won’t run out of money soon, so it’s not the immediate future that’s frightening. It’s the potential horror. One of the most useful bits of advice a therapist gave me was to suggest that I ask myself in my moments of great fear: Is everything okay “right now?” And if the answer is yes (which it most usually is), then she urged me to stay as close as I could to the “right now.” I talked about that with my unemployed friend today. It takes a lot of practice. I’m working on it.
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One reason I took up yoga again is that its practice is all about staying focused on the here and now. In the initial months after my divorce, I tended to dwell on the past then freak out about the future, fretting over what if this happens, what if that occurs, what if I get sick, who will care for me…Soon I realized that that is just no way to live. Yoga has made me feel physically so much better but by practicing it almost every day, it lifts my mood and forces me to think only of this moment, which really is all we ever have in life. I hope your friend can find inner peace. I certainly understand her fear being out of work, but you know what they say–when one door closes, another one opens. I hope she finds that open door soon!
Sending positive thoughts to your friend. I can understand her fear; I hope she can manage the anxiety and come out shining – hopefully she finds bigger and better opportunities.
I have complete confidence in her, even though I know how hard it is in the moment.
That’s very wise, Paulette. I only wish that when that one door closes, the other door would hurry up and open. Sometimes the gap seems to take forever.
I’ve been in your friend’s situation, and it can definitely be tough and fill the most “stable” person with crushing anxiety. Great advice from you, hope she finds her next steps soon.
Thanks. I’ll send her your good thoughts.
Ditto to the above sentiments. I can add that, as a sales/marketing consultant in the sustainability arena for the last almost 8 years, I’ve lived with a far greater degree of Uncertainty than I ever could’ve imagined when I had a “job-job”. I’m not saying it’s easy (it’s not), but I’ve kind of made a semi-friend of Uncertainty. When that feeling comes on (after, for example, I lost my biggest client not long ago), I acknowledge it, kind of put it on the side, and keep on pushing. Somehow Uncertainty ain’t as scary as it was back at the beginning of this adventure. All the best to your friend!
Lew, that’s wonderful and inspirational. I’ll have to remember this.
Semi-friend of Uncertainty. That’s a great attitude, Lew.
I’ve been where your friend has been–numerous times. Staying in the here and now is difficult and takes practice. I sometimes create fear and anxiety when it isn’t warranted, let alone when there’s something concrete to worry about (totally understand the “potential” stuff). It (remaining in the present) is something I’ve yet to master. Sending positive thoughts to your friend.
Other great advice about anxiety ahead of time, “don’t worry twice.”