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Summertime Blues
During my self-pitying days in San Francisco, I would get lonely in the summer. As couples escaped the fog to romantic getaways in Napa Valley, I watched TV in my apartment clinging to the heater. It’s one more reason why I love L.A. It’s always summer here and everyone stays put.
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I live in NYC and loathe (loathe!) the Gawd-awful hot & humid summers, but am stuck here pretty much all season due to my work. (And the 4-hours-each-way slog in weekend traffic to cooler country climes is stressful and therefore does not appeal.) Thus, I feel lonelier and more isolated in summer as I stick pretty close to my blissfully air-conditioned apartment, much more so than in the fall/winter/spring, when being out and about in NY is a delight.
I guess the Napa Valley version in NYC is everyone off to their expensive rentals in the Hamptons.
I can see what you mean. But then, all cities make me feel lonely no matter the season. It seems like everyone else but me has better things to do…and someone to do them with, so I moved out to the country. There’s a skower pace of life, I can breathe and have room to spread out with freedom to be myself, and spend most of my time with horses or in nature. I feel lost and overwhelmed in cities…there are lovers everywhere.
It’s interesting Leyla, as I have the opposite response. In cities, I feel less alone because it seems like there are more people like me. But then again, I don’t get to the country much. Maybe this has more to do with the places where we feel most comfortable.
I tend to feel more lonely in the winter (also live in the SF area). Summer means freedom to explore and do whatever I want (though I’m a teacher, so I get that freedom!) so I’m often traveling or doing things I don’t otherwise get to do. Winter means being cooped up inside alone and the run of holidays and endless work-stress. I think I find winter more romantic as a season as well. That’s when I tend to feel more lonely.
As a teacher, I can imagine that summer offers more possibilities. And yes, in winter there’s that interminable holiday season.
Definitely summer. The days are too warm and too long. I’m not sure if it’s that I feel more lonely, though. Maybe I just feel more out-of-sorts or out of my element. The crispness of fall (my favorite season) brings me out of my funk and my shell.
Then again, maybe it’s the clothes 🙂 Boots, coats, sweaters and sweater dresses.
I think there’s something about summer, when we’re all supposed to be sunny, that’s adds more tension.
I was just saying to a good friend earlier this week that I was just…lonely. I wasn’t sure why it hit me recently, but I think it does have to do with the fact that everyone is taking vacations together. I don’t know that I am lonelier in the summer though, I think the winter is the worst for me. But there are things attached to every season that has me wishing for a partner to enjoy them with from time to time.
Yeah, I get it Lola. In the summertime, seems easy for a couple to just hit the road and take off just about anywhere without having to think too hard about it. I always end up having a mental barrier. If I’m traveling alone, I’m the only person I can depend on and so have to plan everything out and think it through. Sure, I’d love to go the beach. What am I going to do during that long drive by myself? What will I do when I get there? Sit and read? Dip a toe in? Then come back? No one will get any pictures with me. What’s the point? After all that, I end up thinking too hard and end up not going at all. But I realize that the only one preventing me from living my life to the fullest is ME.
There are many things about vacationing alone that are challenging. But I’m imagining couples who have challenges and (have made many compromises) when traveling with their partners. So I believe your final conclusion is the right one. We have to be good problem solvers.
Summer is definitely a big family vacation time. That adds to the pressure.