filed in Myths and stereotypes
Downton Abbey Finale, SPOILER ALERT
DO NOT READ ON if you haven’t seen the finale (and care). I was late to the Downton Abbey fan club. The series ran for 3 seasons before I relented and binge watched 24 episodes over 2 days. And then I was hooked and could barely wait each week to return to the opulent settings, gorgeous clothes, familiar faces and story lines. It was the equivalent of comfort food. There’s a great piece in New York magazine about why this series was so popular. The last few years, I grew tired of it, but still never missed a show. Here’s my gripe about the finale – nearly every major character ends up married or clearly on their way, with this musty message that it’s the only path to happiness. Oh, please….
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I’m a HUGE DA fan and I enjoyed the series finale. But to your point…in the 1920s in England being married was EVERYTHING…it was your rite of passage, your social club, your status in the community. Look at how far we’ve come in less than 100 years! I’m 45 and living alone…I’d have been shunned from society in those days…pitied as the spinster.
To round out the series…they almost had to marry off Edith once and for all…as the audience may not have been satisfied. I’d like to have seen her move to London with Marigold and be a bull-blazing magazine editor, but as a lady of society, marriage suited her best.
I would have rather they kept Lady Mary as a widow instead of marrying her off.
At the end of the day though…it makes me chuckle that Lady Edith out “ranks” Lady Mary. tee-hee.
Ugh…
I hear you. But they weren’t contextualizing it in terms of marriage being the only option, but rather that everyone was finding true love. Still the old cliche of happily ever married.
Exactly
In the 1920s especially of the Crawleys’ social caste, marriage was if not the only path to happiness, it was probably the best paved or widest. At least with Edith one could see the inkling that there might be another route (of course look at Gwen, the former housemaid turned secretary, who returned as a MARRIED WOMAN to sit at table with the family!). But really, I think it was just the beginnings of women realizing there might be other options. And we are the beneficiaries of that in some respect.
All in all, despite the suspension of disbelief required at times, I thoroughly enjoyed DA!!
Why did Lady Mary need to get married? Wasn’t she already bequeathed the estate?
Well I think so, but I’m not sure if it is actually because of her son, as Matthew’s heir. Or maybe she herself as the widow inherited the estate, all that is still unclear to me.
I guess my point was that she could survive financially without a husband.
Yes, the ending was all a bit trite, and the plots had degenerated over the past few seasons. (I kept hoping one of the Bates WOULD just murder someone in order to relieve the tedium of that storyline.) But it was satisfying, nonetheless, to see Lady Edith make a grand marriage (to a nice man, to boot) and end up outranking the personality-free Lady Mary. And to be honest, in some ways we haven’t progressed that much. Never-married women are still very much shunted to the social sidelines. Career-wise, yes, we’ve flourished in the 90+ years since the Downton era. But socially … not so much.
I wouldn’t say that socially I feel shunted to the sidelines. If you don’t mind my asking, do you Karen?
I totally agree– thought the ending was ridiculous and was thoroughly disappointed that not one character could end up uncoupled (and happy). stupid.
I feel socially sidelined a lot as a never married, middle aged, childless woman. Would still rather be on my own than in an unhappy partnership, but still do feel somewhat isolated from all the couples and families in my age bracket.
Re the ending and the coupling, it’s most realistic for the time (though of course there could still be outliers that could have been plausible characters)
But to your point and also Karen’s I do also feel socially a bit of an oddity. Most people I know and socialize with (if I do at all) are married. I don’t really know other single people. I often get the feeling I am looked at (by the marrieds) sort of quizzically, like, hmm, she seems normal; then why isn’t she –? Or, they are so entrenched in their kid-centric lives they can’t imagine anyone being otherwise. Not 100% the case, but enough to make me uncomfortable at times.
I have a few friends with small kids, and I’ve surrendered to the fact that if I want to see them, it’s going to have to be kids time.
I’m not sure where you live, but one of the reasons I like big cities is that it’s possible to have a diverse mix of friends. That’s helped me from feeling too sidelined.
Okay, I haven’t watched a single episode of Downton Abbey (though I did get a phone call from my mom telling me that “the office is closed” during the airing of the last episode and I was not to call during that time)> But I have been following a little bit here and there, as it’s been quite the social phenomenon. So I’m not particularly qualified to address the “everyone got married” finale. I AM, however, qualified to comment on social sidelining, having been single (as in not married) for my entire life and often (typically?) uncoupled. I can relate to Izzybell and Robin in that I have, on occasion, felt that I was viewed differently. This, however, was mostly from my students. Many of my friends are single and of those that are married, most spent considerable time being single during adulthood, so they “get it”. For me, the bigger oddity factor is my childfree status. There are certainly plenty of single mothers here, but a single woman sans child is somewhat rarer.
It’s interesting that there are plenty of single mothers where you live, but not single women without children.
For me, where I live I’m sure has a lot to do with it – my town (smallish university town) is known for not being a great one to be single in. However, I am not a big city person, and ideally would prefer an even more rural/remote location. So it’s dilemma.
I also agree that more people (the majority marrieds I mean) can relate to a single mother than to a single childless person. Having kids seems to be such a universal desire that it makes you seem more ‘okay’ if you do have children. Plus we see plenty of evidence that marriages don’t always last, so less stigma there than there used to be.
My brother and his wife live is a small New England town, and when I visit them and their married friends, I feel like the odd woman out. But in L.A., when I’m with my married friends, I don’t feel like an outsider.