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Genetics of Asking for Help
My mother was not good at asking for help. She was stubborn that way, and so am I. It’s a hard habit to break. Recently I got some practice.
Some months ago, I introduced a Husband Benefits Pie Chart, a 2-step system I devised while waiting around for the perfect man to show up. The first step is fantasizing about the advantages of an ideal spouse, and the next step is finding them elsewhere. A recurring item on my fantasy list is a husband to lift my luggage into the airplane’s overhead bin. I’m a delicate 5’3″, so it’s hard for me to bench press my suitcase. Since I hate to check luggage, I learned to pack light. (It’s amazing how many pairs of shoes I can get into a 20” carry-on.)
As I was about to return home on a plane trip last month, my back went out. I could hardly stand up straight, and there was no way I’d be able to maneuver my bag. The only solution was asking a stranger to do it for me. I know it’s not such a big deal, but I obsessed on the way to the airport, rehearsing the request in my head. As we boarded, I scoped out the sturdy people standing near me, to see who might be willing to do the heavy lifting. It was not a direct flight, so I had to ask 4 times. Up. Down. Up. Down. Without exception, people couldn’t be nicer. They were happy to lend a bicep or two.
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I empathize! I’m also a petite 5’3″ (with heels) and I too dread maneuvering my luggage through the airport and into the overhead bins. Cheers to you for asking for assistance–for some silly reason, I feel the need to do it myself, and then I’m always so embarrassed when someone else steps in to help.
I’m often shy to ask for help–even from friends! I just wrote on Onely about how I’m not sure who I would call if I fell and broke my face. I have ample friends, but somehow, I would still agonize about “bothering” them. Terrible! I know I am depriving people of an opportunity to express care for me, but I can’t help it!
Christina
5’2″ here! {stretches and waves}
I don’t like asking for help, either, and what’s worse, people usually don’t step in to help me! I don’t know why I find it so embarrassing. Guess I was raised to believe that I should be self-sufficient and not impose on others.