In Honor of Mom
Today is the anniversary of my mother’s death. I’ll light a memorial candle that will flicker for 24 hours, and go to services to say the Kaddish, the Jewish prayer of mourning. We’re only allowed to say this prayer in a gathering of at least 10 adults, also known as a minyan, which is a wonderful idea, really, that guarantees we’ll be surrounded by community at a difficult time. I love saying the Kaddish. It’s got a primal cadence to it that comforts me. I watched my parents and grandparents light these candles and say these prayers, and when I do these things, I feel connected to them. This is ritual at its best, providing a mooring for grief and remembrance. My mother always wanted me to call her more often. For the next 24 hours, we’ll be chatting.
Artwork by Javier Jaén Benavides
Yesterday Will Be Better
18 months ago, one of my closest friends disappeared from my life. With barely any warning or explanation, someone who I’d spoken to almost every day for years, suddenly withdrew. I fervently tried to get in touch, but he didn’t respond. It was unbelievably painful. We’d had great fun during our 15-year friendship, travelling to Europe and Asia together many times, spending holiday weekends at each other’s homes. We’d shared so many experiences. It wrenched my heart, almost like a death. For that first year, I don’t think a day went by that I didn’t think about him. But just today, I realized it doesn’t hurt anymore.
Art by Anatol Knotek
Slim Pickings on Match.com
Today is the 3-month anniversary of my experiment on Match.com. I’d marked the date in red capital letters on the calendar, so I wouldn’t forget to cancel my subscription. I signed up as a preemptive New Year’s resolution, and as most of you predicted, it was a bust. But I did get a lunch date out of it that was so bizarre as to be worth the price of admission, because of how many times I’ve enjoyed telling the colorful story. (I’ve not posted the details here because he’d know it was him, and it seems tacky.) Sometimes, a good anecdote is all you get. And sometimes, that’s enough.
Food art by Sarah Illenberger
End of Week Gratitude
There’s a leak in my garage, and a few days ago, a plumber suggested it could have something to do with faulty air conditioning units in the condos above it. One of those condos is mine. My first impulse was to imagine my ceiling having to be ripped open, water damage everywhere, and all the money the repair would cost. And then I remembered the catchphrase: “don’t worry twice.” I’m grateful to report that everything is fine. Have a great weekend!
Illustration from Design Taxi.com
Who Have You Loved Lately?
During a recent power outage on my street, I had neighbors who made sure that the elderly in my building were okay. I loved them for that.
Illustration by Lisa Congdon
Eating For One, In Style
My theory on dining is that presentation counts for a lot, and equally so, whether it’s takeout at home alone, or a slow-cooked feast for friends. Plastic forks and spoons are not in my playbook. How about you?
Photograph by Antonia Basler
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