First Person Singular by Wendy Braitman

Jury Duty!

Artwork by Olivia Steele

Latest Puzzle of Online Dating

I’m trying to remain a good sport, but this tugs at my patience. On Saturday, I got two flirty emails from a cute guy who I actually found intriguing. We share common areas of interest – politically, culturally, gastronomically – and even though his neighborhood is slightly beyond my geographic comfort zone, I was definitely game to meet him for coffee. This rarely happens. I responded the next morning with a short, but sweet reply. That was 36 hours ago. Yes, he could still get back to me. But the rhythm of these things is if someone is interested, they respond right away. Here’s my confusion. Why did he start the conversation in the first place?

Artwork by Sandra Autukaite

End of Week Joy Shout Out

About to power down. Have a great weekend.

Illustration by Marc Johns

How Does This Photo Make You Feel?

Illustration by John Holcroft

Pet-Related Sleep Deprivation

I envy my dog’s ability to sleep 10 hours a night. Except for last night, when Rose began getting restless, eventually jumping down from the bed at 3 AM. It was pouring rain and the last thing I wanted to do was go outside. I tried to cajole her back under the covers with a treat, cutting my hand in the process, which I didn’t notice at first, until I turned on the light and saw the bloody sheet. I went into the bathroom, got a Band-Aid, then layered on another one, because the bleeding was pretty bad. And I had one of those “being single moments of terror” thinking, okay, I’m here alone, it’s the middle of the night, what happens if I need to go to the emergency room? Back to my dog. She refused the treat, so I knew something was up. I searched for my boots and an umbrella (we don’t have much weather here in L.A.), keeping my hand elevated, and staggered downstairs. Sure enough, Rose was sick. She’s fine today. My hand is recovering nicely. I’m exhausted.

Insomnia by Brad Philips

What Are You Wearing?

Judgments by Rosea Lake, an 18-year-old art student

Do We Need To Mix It Up?

It’s probably perverse that I enjoy reading articles about what makes marriages last. (Maybe it’s to get to the parts where they unravel.) In a piece from the Times, I learned that couples experience less wedded joy after two years, as the relationship gets more predictable. According to a study, one effective strategy for staying happier longer is introducing a novel activity into the marriage that’s exciting, rather than just pleasant. Like rock climbing, instead of checking out a new restaurant for dinner. As a single person, I have to translate this kind of couple-y advice into something relevant to my life, so I wondered if there’d be an upside to my also seeking out more adventure. Just not tonight. Tonight, I’ll be happily sunk into the couch with my dog.

Artwork by Ben Eine

Not Going Negative Report Back

With 4+ hours to go, results have been mixed. Early in the day, I doubled down by trying not only not to go negative but to make a point of saying nice things to people. That didn’t last. Listening to political pundits describing the Inauguration provided a real challenge, as did like-minded friends complaining about the pundits. I snark-tweeted twice before realizing it. Most interesting about the experience has been analyzing the catalyst for going negative. At times it was envy, irritability and trash talking as a way of bonding with someone else. How about you?

Starting With a Kind Word

I flew home from Washington just as everyone was arriving for the Inauguration. On the way to Dulles Airport, the cab driver told me that 300 private jets carrying dignitaries were about to descend. During my stay, it felt good to flex that democratic muscle of being in conversation with legislators, and I hope my voice was heard. Words can have such power. But there’ve been other times – with friends, neighbors, work mates, my mother, the person who seemed to cut me off on the freeway, when I wish I could rewind what I’ve said. At 12:01 AM, I will begin the experiment (accompanied by some of you) of not saying anything negative about anyone for a day. I’m curious as to how long it will take for me to mouth off. With you as my conscience, I’m determined to keep at it. Let me know how it’s going.

Illustration by Lisa Congdon

Heading to D.C.

I’m flying to Washington tomorrow to meet with leaders who are working for a pathway to citizenship for millions in the U.S. aspiring to become Americans. This will be my first time lobbying on Capitol Hill and I’m really excited. I might not be able to post for the next few days. But I’d love to continue hearing from you (and I will respond!)

From the sublime to the pathetic, I got my first wink from Match in almost a week, and it was from a man who had this to say in his very sparse profile:

If you pay rent please do not date me. I am only dating women who own a house.

 Illustration by Alessandro Gottardo