Who Do You Love?
A woman I know is battling stage IV cancer. With deference to Christopher Hitchens, who is troubled by using “battle” in this context, whatever you call it, it’s fierce. Despite the grim circumstances, my friend remains amazingly upbeat, posting frequently on a blog provided by the hospital. Her cheerful updates put my petty gripes in perspective. A few days ago, she expressed gratitude for having one of the essential components of a happy life – “someone to love.” Reading this, I was jolted out of my humility. SomeONE to love? Is that the recipe? If so, I’m screwed.
Image: I Promise To Love You, Tracey Emin, 2010
Skirting the Issue
When you find a burden in belief or apparel, cast it off. — Amelia Jenks Bloomer, 1851
Last week, I overheard a friend trying to convince her 9th-grade, tomboy daughter to wear a skirt to school. Not wanting to get in the middle of family politics, I kept my mouth shut. But inside, I was screaming. SEXIST! It seems unfashionably retro to insist a girl put on a skirt, given all the brave women who came before us, risking ridicule and even arrest, for the right to go through life in trousers. Sure, I wore a skirt to my mother’s funeral. But that’s because I wanted to. Can you name an occasion when only a skirt will do?
Image: Girl Pulling Skirt Up, Geoff McFetridge. See his work at Half Gallery through October 15.
What to Wear When You’re Flirting
“I see fashion as a way to play with your personality, to flirt with a part of yourself. It’s like when you go on a date with someone. You’re excited, you dress up, and you look phenomenal. When you get dressed, you should always be dating someone — even if it’s just yourself.” – Anna Dello Russo, fashion director at large for Vogue
Tucked away in the back of my closet is an expensive pair of low-rise, skinny jeans, which I usually drag out, along with wobbly high-heeled boots, if I have a date. More perfect when flirting with MYSELF, however, are the far roomier (and ironically titled), BOYFRIEND jeans. I made the mistake of wearing these baggy jeans once, while flirting with an actual man, who said right to my face: “I hate those. I can’t see your butt.” (Needless to say, that relationship never got to first base)
Illustration by Ana Albero
Carbo-loading into a Sweat
Trying to squeeze in enough carbs, protein and hydration to last a full 25 hours. Jewish Day of Atonement is nipping at my heels, and I’m cramming.
Photograph by Irving Penn
5 Disappointing Moments (+ Mine)
“I didn’t mean to,” cried the elderly driver, after drifting from her lane smack into my car on the freeway this morning. Luckily, we were going slowly in bumper-to-bumper traffic, so the damage was minor. I felt sorry for the frail lady, because even though she has grown too old to be behind the wheel, public transportation is scarce in L.A. But still, what a disappointing start to the day.
Short film by Craig Redman, a fabulous Australian-born artist currently living in NYC.
What Do Smart Men Want?
The story goes something like this – On September 15, 1954, hours after photographer Sam Shaw made history by snapping Marilyn Monroe on top of a subway grate for The Seven Year Itch, she got into a bruising fight with her husband, baseball slugger, Joe DiMaggio,and filed divorce papers soon after. This paved the way for playwright, Arthur Miller, to uh, step up to the plate and become husband #3. If I’d been old enough at the time, I’m sure to have drooled over Arthur Miller, as I’ve always had a thing for writerly types. Certainly, it’s no surprise that talented men of letters lined up for a chance with Monroe, with her irresistible combination of sex appeal and vulnerability. But still, I wish we regular smart women had a better shot with them.
Are You Lonely, Alone?
Canadian writer, Douglas Coupland, who coined the phrase, Generation X, has a great piece in the Times today, where he offers up a dictionary of new terms for the modern age:
INTRAFFINITAL MELANCHOLY VS. EXTRAFFINITAL MELANCHOLY Which is lonelier: to be single and lonely, or to be lonely within a dead relationship?
The answer’s a no brainer, right?
Image: Don’t Cry Tears, Love Me, 1993, by Yoshitomo Nara. See his work at the Asia Society Museum through January 20.
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FIRST PERSON SINGULAR is a guide to surviving, thriving and sometimes just getting through a single day. Created by Wendy Braitman (more…)
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