When a Little Frenzy Can Feel Like Home
It’s on a day like this, scrambling to get everything done, that I feel oddly connected to my ancestors. The Jewish New Year is hours away, and as it was with my parents and grandparents, I’m racing around in a mild panic, hoping to close out the mundane in time for the sacred. Food is a high priority for any Jewish holiday, but my plans for baking a fancy dessert have fallen away, and I’m resorting to a basic Apple Crisp. Served warm with vanilla ice cream, what could be bad? It makes metaphoric sense too, as apples are a symbol for a sweet new year to come. Here’s a no fuss recipe from the kitchens of Cooks Illustrated.
A Single Woman’s Guide to Road Rage
Another three-day weekend alone, and still, the morning got off to a great start. The weather was mild, I read the paper, took Rose for a vigorous walk in the park, and afterwards, we lingered in the sun on the chaise lounge in back. Then I got in the car, because I’d promised to pick up a friend at the airport. LAX was a crowded, irritable place. While loading in the luggage, an angry guy in a truck leaned on his horn, and pretended to throw a water bottle at my face, because I momentarily blocked him. What a jerk! I flashed him the peace sign, and drove off.
Image: Angry Louise, by Louise Fishman, 1973
I Can Count On Me
Literati were all abuzz this summer with the release of Mr. Peanut, a debut novel by Adam Ross, which, at its core, is about married life. Best-selling author, Scott Turow, reviewing the book for the Times, writes: “Mr. Peanut is most harrowing in its bleakly convincing portrayal of the eternal contest that often passes for a marriage, with each partner holding the other responsible for his or her deepest unhappiness.” Sometimes, it feels great to be single.
Image: I Want You So, 1966, by McDermott and McGough (2008)
Feeling Invisible? A Few Suggestions
Maybe it’s like this when you’re married, too. The ghostly feeling that you’re not noticed as an attractive, sexual being, no matter how much you get dolled up. I’m aware of it during dating slumps, like now, when even the loser guys on Match who used to wink from small towns in Georgia, have fallen away. Here are 5 tips:
10 Romantic Comedies I Don’t Hate
This is hard to believe, but I have a friend, a straight man, who LOVES romantic comedies, and sees them all. He used to ask me to come along, then I’d roll my eyes, he’d call me a snob, I’d question his taste, and we’d go off to our corners to sulk. The truth is, I’m a sucker for happy endings in a love story, like most of humanity, but I can’t relax into films that ask me to suspend my disbelief so much so as to require a lobotomy. Occasionally, there are romcoms that I actually enjoy. Here are ten of my favorites, post 1960 (in no particular order). What are yours?
Make Me Laugh, Please!
A favorite story about my best friend, William, took place right after I’d gotten a disastrous perm, which turned my sleek hair into a frizzy mess. I ran to the phone and called Will, a reliable shoulder to cry on, and sobbed that I’d become Wendy, the Clown. When he saw me later that night, all he could do was laugh. I was stunned. For a couple of seconds, I hated him, but then, I started laughing too. Before long, neither of us could catch our breath. The ability to laugh in the face of misfortune is what I love about Will, and it’s part of what has sealed our friendship for life. He never takes himself too seriously, though I’m still practicing. As an antidote to the gravity of single life, please read Paul Rudnick’s piece in The New Yorker about “settling downward.” It’ll make you laugh.
Image: Jacqueline Lisant, 1964, by Pablo Picasso
The Single Etiquette of the Plus One
I’m planning a dinner party, and let’s say I’ve invited six friends. They include a married couple, a pair who are living together, and two others who are single, but dating. Am I obliged to ask the people my single friends are going out with? At what point in a relationship must you invite your guest’s plus one – six months, two years, once they’ve met each other’s parents? It’s not such a deal adding two more to the table. But if they all say yes, it’s four couples and me. What would you do?
Photo: Coney Island, 1975, Leon Levinstein. A retrospective of his work is currently at the Met.
Love the One You’re With
Earlier today, a long-distance, former flame with whom I haven’t talked for months, emailed to see if I wanted to rendezvous at an airport hotel 200 miles away, for dinner and I assume, sex. It has been awhile since a man asked me out for a meal, no less an overnight, so I considered his offer. Plus, it’s a Friday with no plans, and this sort of adventure appeals to me. Should I grab my toothbrush, get in the car and go for it? If I was mad for him, or even in lust, I might’ve already been on my way. Instead, I’m going to make spaghetti, watch Anatomy of a Murder on TMC and cuddle with the dog who loves me. Happy weekend!
Image: Wants/Needs by Scott Albrecht. An exhibition of his work opens today in San Francisco.
The Search for Dating Truth in Advertising
Declaring “I’m a man of integrity” has become the latest dating profile swagger. Three times during the last six months, men of “integrity” have written, eager to meet, only to disappear before the first date. The most recent one, Michael (yes, his real name), couldn’t be bothered with email banter: “Let’s talk over tea,” he insisted. (I suggested martinis, but he doesn’t drink.) We spoke on the phone for almost an hour, and he promised to call in a few days, after his business trip, to arrange a date. That was three weeks ago. So I email bantered the following: Continue reading »
About this Site
FIRST PERSON SINGULAR is a guide to surviving, thriving and sometimes just getting through a single day. Created by Wendy Braitman (more…)
Follow First Person Singular
Greatest Hits
