In Defense of Single Women and Cats
Have you been following the nasty story, gone viral, about a British woman caught on video throwing a cat in the trash? I will spare you the actual footage. After hearing about it, I stumbled onto this report in which twice it’s mentioned that the perpetrator, Mary Bale, is unmarried. And, according to neighbors, she’s a recluse who doesn’t have a lot of visitors. I always thought that unmarried, reclusive women LOVE cats. There goes another stereotype.
Image: Vintage ad for Lanvin’s My Sin fragrance
Pyramid Scheme
Anyone care to tackle a revised, revised pyramid?
UPDATE: This revised pyramid was met with an avalanche of push back. Read the rebuttal.
A Single Woman’s Work in Progress
On Friday nights, in honor of the Sabbath, I shut down my computer. It’s a metaphor, but also literal. For about 24 hours, I stay unplugged. Well, relatively unplugged, because I cheat, and by cheating I mean, checking for messages on my iPhone or worse, on someone else’s computer that I encounter along the way. Okay. I do my best. During this time period, I don’t post on FPS, and try not to even think about it. But this past Friday night, I could not get the word LOSER out of my mind. I was obsessing about an image I’d put up a few hours earlier, and started to fret. Was I bumming readers out with my frustrated tale of unmarried life? Should I be ending each story with a smile? Please. You tell me.
Image: Silja Goetz
Why I Hate Reunions
Last weekend in Connecticut, in a sumptuous house overlooking the harbor, 40 college classmates gathered for a reunion. I was invited, but said, sorry, no, with the handy excuse of it not being convenient right now for a cross country trek. By phone yesterday, I got the recap from a close friend who was there. It was fun, she said, everyone looked good, most were still married, several people asked about me. And I had a familiar pit in my stomach, wondering how my present day was described – especially with the inevitable question – What’s up with her love life?
Image: part of the Loser Party series by Gustavo Rubini
What YOU Put Up With About Online Dating
On Monday, I griped about dating sites. But not as vividly as you. Here are 11 great posts from readers:
Illustration by Christoph Niemann. Check out his awesome visual diary in the Times.
Are High Heels Worth It?
A handsome friend of mine, who is straight and single, asked me why women wear high heels. He doesn’t find them attractive, and anyway, shoes are the last thing he looks at when he’s checking someone out. That’s a relief, but also a disappointment, when recounting the hours of pain I’ve subjected my feet to, in the service of dating and mating. Here in L.A., women alternate between flip-flops and stilettos, with me falling somewhere in between. But I was happy to hear from a high-end shoe rep that flats are trending big for fall and spring. Today, on the 90th anniversary of getting the right to vote, we can choose fashionable, yet rational, shoes. It’s a fitting tribute.
Image: Derek Gores
Cyber Walk of Shame
Yesterday morning, I frolicked in the land of the Single, writing 7 Things We Endure about Dating Sites. In the spirit of self-promotion, I decided to link to the post on Facebook, but as I was about to click SHARE, I was seized by a paralyzing moment of doubt. What if those beyond my trusted circle of friends read it, shake their heads, and cluck to themselves (or worse to each other): Is she STILL trying to find a boyfriend? My head drooped, as I padded into the kitchen for a snack. It took two return trips to the computer before I got my confidence back. I’ll show them. With your input, the dating site endurances have grown. Keep ’em coming.
Image: Stairway to the Sea, 1982, by Will Barnet
7 Things We Endure About Dating Sites
1. I’m no conspiracy theorist, but three men who eagerly initiated contact, then pledged to call me but never did, all used the phrase, “I’m a man of integrity,” in their profiles.
2. Can’t we agree to stop lying about our age?
3. Pssst. Men whose only photos are wearing baseball caps, you’re not fooling anyone. Continue reading »
Folks, We Have a Winner(s)
Aimee Bender graciously agreed to be celebrity judge for our recent contest, a fitting job, given that her wonderful novel, The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake, inspired us. We asked the following question: What is your natural gift? What comes most easily to you?
All the submissions were fascinating, but with just two books to give away, here are Aimee’s picks –
Eat Pray Love for this Ad Campaign to Be Over
The empty slogans for Eat, Pray, Love have been making me queasy: “You Don’t Need a Man. You Need a Champion.” Thanks, but no thanks. Here’s a review from one of my go-to critics –
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iZzmqHJ0gPU
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FIRST PERSON SINGULAR is a guide to surviving, thriving and sometimes just getting through a single day. Created by Wendy Braitman (more…)
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