First Person Singular by Wendy Braitman

When No Means No

I have a problem with authority, which is why through the years, I’ve been far happier as a boss than an employee. Some might say this attitude has had an impact on my being single, but hey, Angela Merkel, Chancellor of Germany, has a husband (in fact, she’s had 2). Yet when it comes to a 50-75% discount on designer clothes, I can learn to behave.

Sign from the Barneys Warehouse Sale in New York, going on now through February 28th.

Homage To My Hips

The distinguished poet Lucille Clifton died this week.

Homage to My Hips

these hips are big hips.
they need space to
move around in.
they don’t fit into little
petty places. these hips
are free hips.
they don’t like to be held back.
these hips have never been enslaved,
they go where they want to go
they do what they want to do.
these hips are mighty hips.
these hips are magic hips.
i have known them
to put a spell on a man and
spin him like a top!

by Lucille Clifton, Good Woman. 1987

What To Do When You’re Not Dating, Part 2

What do I have to show for six months on Match.com? Bubkes. Even still, I’m so busy –

1. getting through all ten Best Picture nominations before the Oscars on March 7. (If you haven’t seen The Hurt Locker and Avatar, try to catch them on the big screen.)
2. watching videos from the TED conference.
3. preparing 2009 taxes. (Actually, I haven’t gotten to this one yet.)
4. reading short stories by J.D. Salinger, because his writing is as brilliant and accessible as the tributes suggest.
5. making chicken and beef stock from scratch, having been humbled by Mark Bittman who writes The Minimalist, a down-to-earth column for the Times, in which he urges home cooks to clean their kitchen shelves of boullion cubes and canned stock.

(bubkes: Yiddish for nada, zilch, nothing.)

Does Facebook Know If We’re Happy?

Valentines Day was a piece of cake, or more precisely, a chicken pot pie, which I made from an Ina Garten recipe for friends who were coming to dinner. The midday weather was spectacular, and while my dough was resting in the fridge, I took Rose for a stroll in the park, and afterwards, we all watched the Olympics on TV. In other words, I felt happy. That is, until I stumbled onto Facebook’s Relationships and Happiness page, and their Gross National Happiness Index, which measures happiness based on the positive or negative words people use in their status updates. What a ludicrous barometer. “Just as expected,” FB writes, “people who are in a relationship or marriage do seem to be happier than everyone else.”

I will NOT let social media ruin my buzz. Let’s get the expert, Bella DePaulo, on the case.

Happy Year of the Tiger

HERE’S OUR WINNER!!!!

Why It’s Great to Be Single on Valentines Day from Migtwig (who also shot this gorgeous photo):

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All You Need is Love (all together now)

A few days after posting The Benefit of Awe, I decided to get in touch with Dr. Helen Fisher, biological anthropologist and “Chief Scientific Advisor” to Chemistry.com to learn more about her point of view. Here’s our unedited email exchange:   Continue reading »

The Price of Beauty

When I see beautiful women aging, particularly women who are defined by their looks, I feel their pain. Not because it’s my story, of course, which is strictly fantasizing about what dating and mating would be like if I were ravishing. But I can imagine what loss it must be to not turn heads anymore. Years ago, I was lucky enough to be standing near the great French actress, Catherine Deneuve. Casually dressed with her blonde hair pulled back in a ponytail, she was clearly showing age, but her beauty was timeless, as if a spotlight was still following her luminous face.

(Image: Photograph and book by renowned photographer Nadav Kander.)

Why It’s Great to Be Single on Valentines Day, reason #8 from Christine:     Continue reading »

Feeling the Love – Even If You Make it Up

Yes. I’ve made peace with Valentines Day, but not the week leading up to it, when romantic love is bombarding me, and I don’t mean in a good way. The other day, I got ambushed while tuning into a favorite radio show, and even the stalwart Writer’s Almanac is featuring a week of literary love letters (although today’s are from Oscar Wilde to Lord Alfred Douglas, and how can you not enjoy that?) The only sane response is to buy a T-shirt. The latest is from Alexander Wang’s less expensive T collection, and it’s soft and chic. I’m in LOVE.

(Image: Design Sponge, a site of visual inspiration and useful, too! edited by Grace Booney)

Why It’s Great to Be Single on Valentines Day, reason #7 from Jen G.:       Continue reading »

Ah Oui! If Love Were This Easy

Google’s really cool ad that first aired during the Superbowl

Why It’s Great to Be Single on Valentines Day, reason #6 from Nancy:     Continue reading »

The Benefit of Awe

I took myself to the movies on Saturday, and saw The Third Man, a British film noir masterpiece, and it put me in the best mood. And still this morning I breezed into my car with lifted spirits. Even the jerk that cut me off from the right lane couldn’t sour me. I turned on NPR, and the host announced that in honor of Valentines Day, he’d be featuring conversations about love, EVERY day this week. Not that there’s anything wrong with love, but does it have to be for a whole week?   Continue reading »