First Person Singular by Wendy Braitman

It’s Tough Not to Be Girlie in L.A.

The other day, I heard two women having a spirited conversation about their “Brazilian.” I assumed it was some chitchat about a bikini wax, when, in fact, they were swapping stories about the latest trend in hair straightening. But you probably knew that. With my short, curly hair, I’m an anomaly in Los Angeles. I haven’t been near a brush or blow dryer for years. There are times I feel misunderstood, especially when “friends” tell me that a longer coif might increase my dating pool.   But I gotta go. Haircut at 4.

Photo: Gents by Eric Ogden, part of an exhibition at Hous Projects, now through March 4th.

Why It’s Great to Be Single on Valentines Day, reason #4 from Amber:       Continue reading »

“No woman gets an orgasm from shining the kitchen floor”

The orgasm quote is from the late, great, Betty Friedan (February 4, 1921- February 4, 2006). The Feminine Mystique, her seminal book published in 1963, shattered the myth of the contented housewife:

Each suburban wife struggled with it alone. As she made the beds, shopped for groceries, matched slipcover material, ate peanut butter sandwiches with her children, chauffeured Cub Scouts and Brownies, lay beside her husband at night — she was afraid to ask even of herself the silent question — “Is this all?”

Why It’s Great to Be Single on Valentines Day, reason #3 from Emily:   Continue reading »

Is There a Downside to Good Taste?

I envisioned myself a connoisseur until a few hours ago, when I realized I wasn’t spelling the word correctly. Even now as I post this, I’m checking a dictionary to make sure I get it right. (It’s the second “o” that throws me, and if you can’t spell it, you’re probably not one.) Sometimes I’m afraid I’ve gotten too rarefied, especially when searching for a date. Does the man I’m going out with have to like literature, fine art and haute cuisine, or is it okay that his chosen writer is Dan Brown and favorite restaurant, a greasy spoon?

Image: Connoisseur, 1962, by Norman Rockwell, whose birthday is today!

Why It’s Great to Be Single on Valentines Day, reason #2 from Jill:             Continue reading »

What We Can Learn from Groundhog Day

Don’t rely on anecdotal evidence. Our brains are hard-wired to make sense out of random patterns. But we’re often wrong, no matter how compelling the evidence may be. Antibiotics can’t cure the flu, damp weather doesn’t aggravate arthritis, ice won’t heal a burn, unmarried women aren’t crankier than married ones, groundhogs can’t predict an early spring. On the other hand, the 1993 comedy Groundhog Day directed by Harold Ramis, is surprisingly charming and true. One of my all-time favorite films.

Today starts the countdown of ten reasons Why It’s Great to Be Single on Valentines Day.       Chocolate winner announced on February 14.

From Rachel: Same reason it’s great to be single every day: You can do whatever you want to!

Taking a Breather

On route to the San Francisco airport yesterday, an attractive ex-lover, now long-time strictly platonic dear friend, treated me to breakfast at the Universal Café, one of our favorite brunch spots. He has recently parted ways with his girlfriend of many years, and I asked him if he’s interested in dating. “I’m not ready,” he replied. “I just want to hang out in First Person Singular land for a while.” A LAND?  Really? It sounded so static, but I kept my mouth shut for fear of sounding defensive. For the record, FPS isn’t a holding place, where we sit around catching our breath in between relationships. Oh well. No need to counter with the perfect rebuttal today. I’m still enjoying the buzz from my weekend away.

Tune in tomorrow for the rollout of Why it’s Great to be Single on Valentines Day.

Image: Erich Consemöller. Untitled (Woman in B3 club chair by Marcel Breuer wearing a mask by Oskar Schlemmer and a dress in fabric designed by Beyer). c. 1926, MOMA, New York.

Home Away from Home

I’m in San Francisco for the weekend, well equipped with a raincoat and boots. I’ve planned some of my most favorite things; hanging with old friends, dining at Delfina, Antica and Hayes Street Grill, Manhattans at the 500 Club, checking out the spring collection at Diana Slavin Womenswear, and highlighting my hair at Primp. While I’m carousing, don’t forget that today is the last day to add your comments to our contest, Why It’s Great to be Single on Valentines Day. Great chocolate awaits.

The Ineffable

Poetry intimidates me. Despite that or maybe because of it, I read a poem a day.  And occasionally, I find one that I can easily make contact with, and best of all, it moves me. Give this one a try.

Continue reading »

State of the Non-Union

It has been a year since I launched First Person Singular, which makes now the perfect time to get your feedback. What do you like about the site, what don’t you like (gulp, I can take it), what would you like to see more of? Most of my posts seem to fit into the following categories: dating, food, fashion, sex (yes, I’d like to see more of that too!), artifacts, getting through the holidays, getting through the day, awesome single women. Let me know your preferences. It would be great to hear from you!

(Image:  The Black Dress, painted by Alex Katz in 1960 was a visual inspiration for me as I started imagining this site. And I still can’t get enough of it.)

Ghostwriting Your Dating Profile

An eager publicist emailed me today about profile wiz, a new service for $4.75 that promises to ghostwrite an enticing online dating profile in under five minutes. That would have come in handy for Steve, a recent “admirer” from Match.com. Steve’s profile was sketchy, and a little sarcastic, and in writing about the last movie he saw, he mentioned Hungover, which I’m assuming is really The Hangover, unless he’s talking about some porn film. I recently posted about Dating Dealbreakers, and a typo is not one of them. But I find that profiles provide clues (whether intentionally or not) and the idea that a surrogate would tell our stories for us, misses the point.

Would you hire a ghostwriter for your dating profile?

(Photo: Laziness by Anton Senkou-Melnik)

Is Being Picky Genetic?

I’m a picky eater just like my Dad. Sugar, number one food group, followed by bread, pasta, corn, pizza, any variation of potato. No squishy food for us. My father’s perfect lunch was a slice of chocolate layer cake. I was not surprised to read that being a picky eater has more to do with genetics than environment (78% vs. 22%), because it’s obvious my Dad and I were bred from the same carb-addicted DNA. Some studies suggest that picky eaters could have as many as 1000 more taste buds per square centimeter of tongue. What a relief to think we’re not petulant, just sensitive.

I ponder this while gazing in despair through my “DAILY 5,” Match.com’s list of men they suggest I consider. I put most of them into the “maybe” pile, rather than immediately tossing them overboard (which is my real inclination), as if someone were looking over my shoulder, and I want to prove that I’m not too finicky. What can I say. It’s in the genes.