First Person Singular by Wendy Braitman

Mouth-watering and Pink

For those of you sitting on the fence, DON’T. Last week, I previewed a CONTEST and here are more juicy prize details from L.A. Burdick, one of the country’s premier chocolate makers:

Bottom box: Full one pound assortment including hand-cut chocolate heart bonbons.
Middle Box: 20 Sets of Champagne truffles, dusted with confectioners sugar.
Top Box: Caramel Collection including triple caramels of mocha, apricot and vanilla.

Come up with the top reason why it’s great to be single on Valentines Day, and all of this can be yours (or if you’re masochistic, give it away.)

Here’s a recap –

Under the Weather

Baby, it’s cold outside. It’s been raining for days in L.A, and we’re not equipped. Sidewalks are swollen with water, hills are sliding, the interstate is closed. My dog hasn’t had a decent walk all week. Between the weather and politics, it’s hard to stay buoyant, then suddenly a brainstorm. Book a massage. I can’t remember the last time I was touched, so why not just pay for it? I’m trying out Ona, a boutique-y neighborhood spa, and I hear that Daniel, the masseur, is fabulous. According to the menu, they’re serving botox, too, but that will have to wait for a snow day.

Update: Just back from my massage with Daniel, whose gifts were not exaggerated. Rain? What rain? This must be heaven.

The View From Here

In the last month, two friends in my inner circle have fallen in love. They’re gushing about it, and why shouldn’t they? This isn’t everyday news. What could be better than the first taste of a person who, at last, feels like a good fit? I listen to their love talk cheerfully, because this is what you do as a friend. You feel pleasure when someone close to you is in ecstasy. But it pierces me, too. And I wonder, how did I get left outside the party door?

Painting: I Wish I May, 2008, by Clare Grill

A Crash Course in Haiti

After last week’s devastating earthquake, I’ve been cramming to get re-aquainted with Haiti’s history, so as not to fall prey to spouting pundits who are probably just boning up as well. I’ve also been reading some wonderful short fiction by acclaimed Haitian-born writer, Edwidge Danticat.

Danticat immigrated to New York when she was 12, which was when she started learning English and by 25, her first novel Breath, Eyes, Memory was published. In 1994, she was hailed by the New York Times as 30 artists under 30 “likely to change the culture for the next 30 years,” Oprah selected Breath, Eyes, Memory for her book club, and last year, Danticat (who is 41 today) received the prestigious MacArthur “genius” award. Here’s an excerpt from Crabs, a piece Danticat wrote about her childhood for The New Yorker in 2008:       Continue reading »

When You Pray, Move Your Feet

Photo: The March on Washington, Aug. 28, 1963. Leonard Freed / Magnum Photos

Contest: Why It’s Great to Be Single on Valentines Day

Are you fed up with buying your own Valentines Day candy, or hoping a loved one will bring you some?  We can change that. All you have to do is come up with the best reason why it’s great to be single on Valentines Day and we’ll deliver a box of yummy L.A. BURDICK artisanal chocolate  to your home in time for the holiday.

Here are the ground rules. Uh, actually there are none. Comment as often as you like. You don’t have to be single to win (because how could I check). The winner will need to give us a first and last name, U.S. mailing address and phone number (for delivery purposes only). We’ll be gathering entries until January 28 and posting one great reason a day during the 10 days leading up to February 14.

Let the games begin…

LAST UPDATE: We have a winner!!!!!

Paying Your Way

For one brief stint in the 90’s, I lived with a man who kept me. By kept, I mean, he paid all the bills, and gave me spending money when I needed it, which was the only way I could agree to walk away from my job and follow him to live in Europe. Never before or since, have I experienced this arrangement, which had its glamorous side. But with his money, came obligation and dependence. I began to hoard, so I could have money of my own. I became a yes woman.

When my stubbornly independent mother was dying, she whispered to me of her shame from no longer having money in her wallet. I never told my Dad, it would have hurt him so. For the rest of her life, I made sure there was always $100 in her purse.

(Image: Domesticated Marionettes by Hayv Kahraman, an artist born in 1981 in Baghdad, who now lives and works in the U.S.  Thanks to ajourneyroundmyskull for posting her work.)

Be Generous

There are occasions when analyzing how happy I am seems petty compared to what’s going on in the world. (Not often enough, I’m afraid.) The catastrophic earthquake in HAITI has such far-reaching consequences, that I hope, if you haven’t done so yet, you’ll consider making a donation. Here’s a list of a varied group of agencies offering relief to Haiti, in this moment of urgent need.

Update: If you have a mobile phone with a major wireless carrier, you can send a $10 donation to Red Cross Haiti relief by texting ‘Haiti’ to 90999. It will be charged to your next cell phone bill.

Never Call a Man?

Essayist Jane O’Reilly discussing the proper 1960 etiquette in When Everything Changed: The Amazing Journey of American Women from 1960 to the Present by Gail Collins:

The one absolutely unbreakable rule, guiding and controlling all contacts with the opposite sex, was never call a man.

Here it is 2010, yet some things never change. Out of all the straight men in my circle, I know of only one who likes when a woman initiates a date (and Miguel, I love you for that!) Others pay lip service to it, but they don’t honestly view it as appealing. I’m naturally proactive, finding it much easier to act than wait for someone else to, which has been a boon to my career, but not to my dating life. After years of testing the theory (sometimes painfully so) I’ve ultimately decided that sitting on my hands, and not bolting to make the call, gives me a lot more information (like, are they really into me.)  Yes, I’ve adapted my instincts. But please don’t misunderstand. This is NOT a rule. Just a strategy.

Dating Deal breakers

Born today in 1842 was the famed psychologist and philosopher William James, who also happened to be the brother of the great writer, Henry James (and sister of Alice). Among his many contributions, William James is credited with coining the phrase, “stream of consciousness.”             I particularly like his adage, “the art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook.”

Which brings me to my Match.com date. Things began with a thud, when he didn’t buy me a cup of coffee, even though I introduced myself and was right behind him on line, and we’re not talking filet mignon, here. Just a decaf latte. It made for an awkward moment, and though it didn’t seal his fate, it caught my attention. Would it have been easier to overlook this lack of grace if he were sexy or witty or scintillating or rich? Maybe. Is this a dating deal breaker?