First Person Singular by Wendy Braitman

What We DON’T Need a Husband For

The last thing I wanted to do today was drive to Beverly Hills. But trust me, I had no choice. The dentist insisted I come in for a post, root canal checkup, and I could no longer put it off. His office is a block from Rodeo Drive, and as I made the left turn onto his street, I took a moment to dream about the luxury brands in my peripheral vision. But this post is not about shopping. Not exactly.

Waiting for the elevator, I stood near a bulky, middle-aged man carrying a purse for his wife, who was young, pretty, and from the look of things, able-bodied. (I knew it wasn’t his purse, because he already had one draped over his shoulder.) Maybe she wasn’t his wife. Maybe she wasn’t able-bodied, though if that was the case, why was she strutting in those four-inch stiletto heels? And here’s the kicker. The bag was gorgeous, big, black, and Chanel. I stared at her in disbelief. Isn’t one of the benefits of owning a prestige purse like that, actually wearing it?!

Streets of San Francisco

I’m visiting my gorgeous former hometown for the weekend. I’ll be catching up with friends, checking out the de Young Museum in Golden Gate Park, and going shopping at Diana Slavin Womenswear.

This photo by Miguel Torres is part of a series called Wall in Bloom, shot in the Mission District.

Goodbye Gourmet. Hello Meatballs and Spaghetti

This week, the demise of Gourmet was announced. It shocked me, since it seemed that the magazine, first published in 1940, would always be there to kick around. The recipes were buried between too many travel and lifestyle photos, and I stopped being a fan years ago. For my last birthday, a friend gave me a subscription to Gourmet. I was not sad when it ran out.

Cooks Illustrated (from America’s Test Kitchen) is my favorite cooking magazine. The recipes are tested and re-tested and virtually foolproof. There are no ads or extraneous fluff, and I learn something each time I leaf through the pages. (Like using coffee filters as a cover for food in the microwave.) I’ve recently added a new cookbook to my collection, also from America’s Test Kitchen, Cooking for Two. I’ve made their Meatballs and Spaghetti recipe several times, and it’s delicious. And because I’m a pasta freak, next up is Lasagna.

Michelle and Barack Have Great Taste in Art

I hadn’t thought much about White House art, until I read a piece in today’s New York Times that listed the paintings the Obamas selected to hang in their private residence, and the West and East Wings. Their choices were bold and modern, and included many well-known artists like Mark Rothko and Jasper Johns, and also an African-American abstract painter, Alma Thomas, whom I’m cramming to learn more about. Here are a few facts. She was born in Georgia, raised in Washington, D.C., and accomplished the near impossible, irrespective of race, becoming a successful artist during her lifetime. Alma was the first woman to graduate from Howard University with a Fine Arts degree, and the first African-American woman to have a solo show at the Whitney Museum of American Art.

This painting, Watusi (Hard Edge) by Alma Thomas, 1963, is now on loan to the White House.

Fashion Forecast

I came across this great video clip from the 1930’s, forecasting what clothes would look like in the year 2000. Most of the predictions are absurd, but they did foresee a few things, like the cantilevered heel, a version of which showed up in Marc Jacob’s 2008 collection (as seen above), and phones that would fit in a man’s garment.

The American Dream

BRENT is the fake name my father used to give when he phoned for reservations. He assumed this name because it was easier to spell than Braitman, and it didn’t sound Jewish. At the time, for my first-generation American parents living in the shadow of anti-Semitism, it felt like a safer way to connect with strangers. I longed for my own Wasp-y way out, and fantasized that my husband’s last name would turn me into a Wendy Brent or a Wendy James.

So much for make believe. There was a famous flesh and blood Brent, but she wasn’t a Protestant. Margaret Brent, born in 1601 was a Catholic, who fled England to the American colonies in search of religious freedom. I’ve been keeping tabs on her for my “Single Women’s Hall of Fame,” and was reminded of this yesterday, on the anniversary of the land grant she received on October 4, 1639, which made her one of the first Colonial women to be a landowner. She ended up acquiring almost 1000 acres, some of which she called, “Sister’s Freehold.” She was also a successful attorney and entrepreneur (practically unheard of for a woman) and most notably, 200 years before the organized call for women’s rights, Margaret Brent went in front of the Maryland Assembly and demanded the right to vote. (They said no.)

When a Lousy Boyfriend is Worth It

I hadn’t seen any paintings by the 17th century Dutch artist, Johannes Vermeer, until I started living with a man who made a film about him. The relationship with my filmmaker boyfriend was stormy and it ended badly. (You know, artists.) But while we were together, we lived in Europe and trekked to exquisite Vermeers all over the world.

The Milkmaid, one of my favorites, is currently on loan at NYC’s Metropolitan Museum from the Rijksmuseum in Amsterdam. It will be exhibited there until the end of November, along with five other paintings by the Dutch master, already in the Met’s collection. They’re breathtaking, and worth the long lines.

Genetics of Asking for Help

My mother was not good at asking for help. She was stubborn that way, and so am I. It’s a hard habit to break. Recently I got some practice.

Some months ago, I introduced a Husband Benefits Pie Chart, a 2-step system I devised while waiting around for the perfect man to show up. The first step is fantasizing about the advantages of an ideal spouse, and the next step is finding them elsewhere. A recurring item on my fantasy list is a husband to lift my luggage into the airplane’s overhead bin. I’m a delicate 5’3″, so it’s hard for me to bench press my suitcase. Since I hate to check luggage, I learned to pack light. (It’s amazing how many pairs of shoes I can get into a 20” carry-on.)

As I was about to return home on a plane trip last month, my back went out. I could hardly stand up straight, and there was no way I’d be able to maneuver my bag. The only solution was asking a stranger to do it for me. I know it’s not such a big deal, but I obsessed on the way to the airport, rehearsing the request in my head. As we boarded, I scoped out the sturdy people standing near me, to see who might be willing to do the heavy lifting. It was not a direct flight, so I had to ask 4 times. Up. Down. Up. Down. Without exception, people couldn’t be nicer. They were happy to lend a bicep or two.

40 Reasons To Be Single

If you are afraid of loneliness, don’t marry
– from The Cherry Orchard by Anton Chekhov

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Upside of Single

An excerpt of my post published today in Double X, a new site for women launched by Slate:

Hair length is not up for discussion
Your chores are your own
Decision when to leave parties is completely up to you
You get to choose between the window and the aisle
No in-laws to ingratiate yourself with
Far less laundry
Temperature in the house (and car) is exactly as you like it
Flirt away!
No one to tell you not to wear that sheer blouse
Music selection (and volume) is your call

(Check back tomorrow for 30 more reasons. And please add to the list!)