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How to Stay Balanced as the 7th Wheel

Martin Creed

I’ve been invited to a dinner party this weekend, and I’ll be the seventh wheel. In other words, there will be 3 couples and me. I’ve been in this situation before, occasionally even around my own dinner table (when I have no one to blame). The asymmetry never stops me, but it always gives me pause. Will I secretly be pitied by the married guests? That’s really the fear isn’t it? I happen to know that the hosts just purchased a new dining room table, and it’s round. So we’ll all be part of one big circle. Circle of love. No problem. I’ve got this.

Artwork by Martin Creed


12 comments for “How to Stay Balanced as the 7th Wheel”

  1. Petra says:

    The fear of being seen as abnormal. Or not good enough for someone. I’ve been there and I still feel it sometimes. And yet, I don’t think my friends have EVER felt that about me. It’s an obstacle of my own making.

    A round dinner table? Oh, how delightful. Have fun at your party.

  2. Leyla says:

    Circle of love sounds awesome!! Ever think you might not be pitied, but envied? Let’s face it, at least one of the three couples will have bickered in the car all the way over to the event.

    • wendy says:

      I think you’re right, Leyla. Makes as much sense for them to have envy as pity. And most likely, they haven’t given it a thought.

  3. Dee says:

    I think it’s nice that you have the option/invitation! It always sounds like you have a good social life/friends in your life.

    Hope you enjoy the party!

    • wendy says:

      Social life takes effort. This weekend happens to be busy. But I spend plenty of nights alone – and I enjoy that too.

  4. Karen says:

    At least you get invited….so many couples don’t bother to include their single friends in dinner parties and similar social events. My “coupled” friends fall into both camps. Enjoy the party.

    • wendy says:

      The hosts are my really good friends. I get invited to their home a lot. But I reciprocate. And to this dinner party I’m bringing a yummy dessert.

  5. Lola says:

    I have some friends and family that not only invite me to events where there will be couples only, but make it clear that they WANT me there and that I’m a valued person at the party.

    And then I have “friends” that seem to think its awkward to have a single person at their event. And you know what, I realized that those “friends” weren’t friends at all. And I’m ok with that…I have moved on and now associate with those that I find enrich my life and whose lives I enrich.

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