William, my Yoda-like best friend who is also a gifted psychotherapist, has a standard comeback whenever someone complains about being romantically spurned. “It’s not personal,” he says. “It’s not about you.” Today, when I’m licking my rejection wounds, this advice makes me crazy, even though on an intellectual level, I get what he’s talking about. And so I ask him, what about when there IS mutual attraction, and you bask in the healing that comes from feeling loved and appreciated. “It’s not about you then, either.” Huh. What exactly is it that makes someone drawn to us or not? William tells me it’s wiring. And whose eyes we looked up at from our cribs.