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Resilience
Decades before there was a reason, I had a free-floating anxiety of standing at my mother’s grave site without a husband. When that moment actually arrived, I managed to go through it, alone but intact. What has been your hardest moment so far?
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I know I’ve mentioned my experience before as a resident of the San Fernando Valley during the Northridge earthquake, but it truly was a life-changing and life-defining time. Trying to pick up the piece of my life was a lot to take on, but I didn’t have a choice. I remember that there were about a million moments when I looked at the rubble surrounding me and I wanted to break down and cry, but I couldn’t – I didn’t have anyone to lean on, so I had to remain strong because no other human was around to be supportive of me. I feared that the moment that first tear fell was the moment when I wouldn’t be able to drag myself out of a vortex of despair. That moment did come – the tears came and the despair came, but I did manage to pull myself together and drag myself out of the vortex and get through it. That was the moment when I learned that I am far stronger than I ever realized, and knowing that has changed my life in more ways than I can count.
Eleven years after that, my father died of cancer. I knew his death was coming for almost a year, and I knew it was going to be hard, but by then I had no doubts about my ability to get through it alone. I’d already proven that, and more, to myself after the earthquake.
Beautifully said, Stacey. Thank you.
Oh Stacey, thanks for sharing that. I’m sorry you had to go through it alone but sounds like you handled both events with strength and grace. I hope I have the same strength when I need it.
Wow, Stacey. I’m sorry you had to go through that alone. I also hope to have (or develop) that same strength if I ever need it.
Being able to reach out to community (as you’ve done, Kathy) is a good barometer of strength.
You will, Lola. I’m sure of it.
I have no doubts that any of you reading this will be able to get through whatever life throws at you. I’ve personally found that most of us are far stronger than we give ourselves credit for.
I appreciate your confidence in us, Stacey.
For several years, whenever I imagined my former beloved from college marrying someone else, I always thought the grief would kill me or at the very least render me comatose. Well, that event finally came to pass almost 6 months ago, and it’s been a difficult process, but I am still alive and kicking. My life is more rich and satisfying than ever before. I haven’t found anyone to love since him and maybe I never will, but I am starting to lose my fear.
Thanks for sharing this story, Leyla. As time has passed and I’ve reflected on my great loves, I appreciate them and yet understand that none were “the one.” I’m curious how you’ll feel in another six months. Keep us posted.