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If You’re 50 and Unmarried, Are You Gay?

When the Wall Street Journal inserted this photo of Supreme Court nominee, Elena Kagan, on their front page, they were accused of playing the gay by insinuation card. Rumors have been flying since Ms. Kagan first appeared on Obama’s short list, because, let’s face it, if you’ve reached the age of 50, without marrying, and have cropped hair, there’s only one conclusion to be drawn. Lesbian. For years now, members of my extended family have wondered if I was gay. Not only am I perennially single, and wear a pixie cut (which I see more Jean Seberg, then K.D. Lang), but I worked on The Celluloid Closet, have tons of LGB friends, and spent years living in San Francisco. To them, the case was closed. To counter my family’s assumptions, I’d boorishly boast of exploits with men, while trying to girly it up with Manolo Blahnik heels, until I finally realized, “who cares?” Of course, the inner circle knows the truth. They’ve witnessed my endless dating and boyfriend disasters. For the record, I can’t bat to save my life.

Photo: Elena Kagan, 1993, Associated Press

Discussion

3 comments for “If You’re 50 and Unmarried, Are You Gay?”

  1. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Wendy Braitman. Wendy Braitman said: If You’re 50 and Unmarried, Are You Gay?: When the Wall Street Journal inserted this photo of Supreme Court nomine… http://bit.ly/cxSCO6 […]

  2. Twigster says:

    I discussed in another post I left on your blog the stigma, biases, and pressures older, never single Christians face, and this is one that comes up for Christian males occasionally.

    It doesn’t seem to happen too much to older, never married Christian females, but I’ve seen Christian men profess feeling hurt over the assumption from other Christians they must be never- married at age 50+ because they are homosexual.

    There are a lot of other assumptions made as to why people (Christians and Non Christian) haven’t been married by 35+ years old, and it’s tiring.

    I wish married people would stop speculating and theorizing about why some people never marry and just accept that some people never happen to meet a good match, and it’s as simple as that.

    I’m in my early 40s, have never married, and I gave up some time ago wondering why and concentrate on living life and enjoying it.

    To have marrieds continually publish or bandy about assumptions (“she / he must be homosexual or too picky or damaged” – whatever) is, in my view, kind of rude and insulting.

    All the theorizing also implies that there is fault to be had, that it’s our fault that we’re single, or that it was through some deliberate choice we made or didn’t make. I did not choose to remain unmarried.

  3. Twigster says:

    A correction: I intended to say “older, never married Christians” -not- “older, never single Christians”

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